i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
