areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
