that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
