so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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