so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
