hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize