You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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