Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
