I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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