You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
