I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
