YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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