He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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