Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
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