But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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