I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize