areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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