Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Randomize
