Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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