why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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