shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
