okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize