the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
