At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
