he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
