oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
