I showed him my bush... on skype.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
