haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
