you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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