did you get engaged???
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
