He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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