If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
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Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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