Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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