Where did you get a picture of my penis
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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