Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
