just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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