Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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