What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
