I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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