how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
