Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
this hospital has no fireball
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
