We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
