ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Randomize
