you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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