that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
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