There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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