Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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