Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
im holly from the hills drunk
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
