He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
