if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
