If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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