they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
