Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
And then my night got REAL pukey
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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