What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize