I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize