ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have aggressive nipples.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
