Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize