I heard we made out
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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